Budapest – The Musical

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Many of us have been to Budapest before, it is a stunningly beautiful city famous for its Turkish baths, incredible architecture and my favourite river… At this point I should ask if anybody else has a favourite stretch of water? Friends often laugh when I list off my 5 favourite rivers…Ralph stop…

The purpose of our visit to the Hungarian capital was not to enjoy the baths, but to watch one of Hungary’s most famous football teams while exploring the city in search of good food (klobasa) and of course the local beer.

6.22am and we were off, comfortably positioned in a Czech Railway dining car, where we would stay for the entire 4hr 23mins of the journey south-east. One of the finest (I am keen to avoid using favourite too much) qualities of Czech Railways is the dining car – the service is good and the prices are excellent – highly recommended if you are ever lucky enough to find yourself travelling in the Czech Republic.

Roughly half an hour into the journey and not even in Slovakia we had already ordered our first beer of to go with our equally unhealthy breakfast of ham and eggs. We were also using the time to refresh our knowledge of Hungarian,  very much like the scene in Monty Python with the very same phrasebook. It’s a difficult language to grasp, but we were both determined to refresh our knowledge of the pleasantries.

The train journey from the Czech Republic is one of the nicest is Central Europe, especially when you cross the border into Hungary from Slovakia. While, the Hungarians may be blessed with stunning countryside, they haven’t been so lucky with ticket inspectors, as a couple of young ladies sat behind us in the buffet car found out when the most miserable inspector told them that a mobile phone was not a train ticket (I suppose he’s right there) and charged them an extra 80 euros for not taking the time to read the small print. No matter how much they pleaded with him, he was not going to let them off, unless they promised to give him back Dunajska Streda. I made that last bit up. However, they did leave the train lighter.

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As we approached Budapest Keleti, two things of note happened – First of all, with us keen to settle the bill, we went in search of a buffet car member of staff. It had been a while since we had seen them, but before you call the police, we did find them, all of them, fast asleep in the first class department and I felt awful having to wake them up. Welcome to Ceske Drahy.

The second, and this might give you an insight into life on the road with The Blansko Klobasa, was that Craggy turned to me right as we pulled into Keleti station and said, “maybe, we should turn this trip into a musical”. Now before you laugh, and we’d only had a couple of beers, honest – I thought this was a brilliant idea. Yes, you are all welcome to join us on a trip. We’ll list the bizarre songs that come into our heads later.

At Keleti train station, I made my first mistake of the day by heading over to change some Czech crowns into Hungarian forint. In untypical fashion, I went to the first place I saw.

“Excuse me, could I change some Czech crowns into Hungarian forints, please?”

I handed over the equivalent of about 35 GBP.

The woman behind the counter smiled and took the money and asked a question that took me by surprise.

“How long are you staying in Budapest for?”

Now, I took that as her asking me out on a date, but before we could finalise a night out on the tiles and possibly a life together in the Hungarian capital, I realised that she was encouraging me to change more money, so that she could rip me off a little bit more…The lesson learned here is – don’t change any money at the train station and although they a being extremely friendly, they are not inviting you out for ghoulash.

So, about 5 beers down in commission, we walked out of the terminal and into the bustling centre of Budapest, where we encountered another, and we must final, attempt to get more forint from us. Craggy will have to watch his back while withdrawing money at Budapest cash machines.

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After that final attempt at the cashpoint, we found a cafe happy enough to provide us with our first Hungarian beer of the day, for probably the only time during the trip we were not there for food or alcohol, but to use modern technology called WIFI to locate our hotel, somewhere over the river. Years ago, we’d have picked up a map from tourist information, now we have smartphones to ruin the fun..

“It’s about a 25 minute walk that way” said Craggy, while confidently pointing in the direction of the Danube, my favourite river if I hadn’t mentioned it all. What my travel partner hadn’t mentioned was that the entire journey was uphill.

So across the Chain Bridge we went, and then up and up and up. It was a challenge. While on that journey, we noticed piles of rubbish on the streets, I can’t really explain it, some people were selling junk, some of the residents had left whatever they didn’t need anymore. There was old furniture, pool tables, computers, old televisions, not in organised piles, but it looked like they had just been thrown from the nearest balcony… Could anyone from Budapest tell us why?

We finally got into the hotel Bi&Bi Panzio, and to my relief without needing climbing equipment, about 3 hrs before kick off. Even though it was a bit of a walk from the Keleti station, it was in a great location and we’d also heard wonderful things about the breakfast. It was also close to the metro line and we had a game to get to. Of course, not before we tried a restaurant recommended to us by the incredibly friendly lady at our hotel reception.

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Trombitás Gösserező was a gem, not the kind of place you would perhaps enter from unwelcoming facade, but a paradise of Hungarian cuisine and beer on the inside. The food did not disappoint and with a belly full, we paid and took various modes of transport before arriving at Budapest Honved’s magnificent stadium.

Arriving 30 minutes before the game might be enough time to get a ticket and find your place in the stadium, but not at Honved. Fans patiently queued well into the first half (apart from two annoying Australian tourists), and the only reason I can think of for waiting in silence without complaint was they knew something we didn’t… That Hungarian football would wait until everybody was safely in the stadium before scoring a goal.

We finally secured our tickets in 32nd minute, after providing I.D and speaking more Hungarian than we’d done in any of our previous visits. The only thing we didn’t understand was probably “Don’t worry about the score, we have asked both teams to pass the ball around in the centre circle until all fans are in the ground”, okay maybe the ticket lady didn’t utter those words, but there were still a healthy number of Honved fans queuing without a care in the world – so we knew the action would wait.

The Hondved stadium should be under UNESCO. It’s sadly been ruined by the plastic seats, but the floodlights are just glorious. For anybody who knows me well, they know that floodlights, rivers and Central European train journeys are up there as my most favourite things ever…

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Beers bought, we positioned ourselves behind the goals and as close to the ultras as possible – I still don’t know how MattLostBoyo finds his way in home end, there must be a talent to obtaining those tickets. Matt?

The game was as you would expect, a bit dull with moments of magic from both teams…The first half went by without much action, but that might have been because we missed the first 35 minutes….aaaahhh. Half-time was spent making sure Honved knew who the Blansko Klobasa were by plastering as many stickers as we could in and around the stadium, while trying to take the perfect photo of the floodlights with our crappy smartphones… The football tourist, hey? Can’t live with them … can’t live without them.

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The second half (a full 45 minutes of action) was entertaining. I actually thought Debrecen were the better team for much of the game and had several chances to score with former QPR and Watford midfielder Daniel Tozser pulling the strings in midfield and second half sub Hyun-Jun Suk running intelligently in attack, they probably should have won the game..but what do we know about football with 85 minutes on the clock scored the only goal we have seen in 360 minutes of Hungarian football, Marton Eppel latching on to a through ball from Kabangu. Against the run of play, but for us it didn’t matter, we just wanted a goal.

With Hungarian football not keen to give us much more, Craggy suggested finding some trendy bars in Pest. By this he meant hipster, where beers are served in bicycle repair shops. Admittedly, it was good place to start, but with none of us in possession of a Raleigh Racer we knew we had to leave after our our only beer and headed for more local climates.

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Those “climates” were a local dive where a local man took an instant shine to our Craggy, offering a leather belt and some perfume for something we are still unsure of. While, we were not in need of something to keep our trousers up or a fragrance that may have been to our advantage, we were in need of beer and the more Hungarian the better. With every sip of beer, came more questions from our new friend.”You like the belt, special price for you my friend”. Sometimes it helps to be the ugly one.

With both of us declining the option of a second beer and bidding farewell to our new friends (which included one who had possibly been sleeping in the same position since our previous visit to Budapest), we made our best decision of the night to find as many local pubs on our way back to the hotel, but not before we had popped next door to Kobe Sausage for what can only be described as a few small sausages in a cone, with lots of sauce. As we were trying to get a photo of this very unique snack, two men approached us..

“Mmmm..klobasa? Is it good?”

“Er…we don’t know, it’s difficult to eat” ( and it was)

“Do you want some cocaine?”

“Er..no thank you” we both replied.

“Grass?”

Well, we declined both, but what impressed us most was that he started on a Class A drug and moved down to something less classy.

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A lot of sauce in an awkward bread cone

Beer stops were made, photos were taken until we arrived in one of our final stops of the evening after being waved away from a tiny bar that had been so welcoming the year or so before. With midnight fast approaching we walked into an empty cafe across the river and a km from our home for the night.

“Are you still open?” I enquired

“Well, we would like to close, but you can have a small beer if you promise to drink it in 25 minutes” The barmaid responded.

She had obviously no idea of who we were, or maybe just thought we had already had one too many.

Then something strange happened, the music changed to mixture of late 80s classics and her colleague came in from the cold. Now, they no longer wanted us to leave, they were locking us in and asking us  if we wanted a shot… this all to a Simple Minds soundtrack. We accepted their offer of a palinka, but we weren’t too sure about them locking us in…It was a bit of a turnaround and one we were not expecting. Suspecting they now wanted a bit more than to dance to Tiffany’s “I think we’re alone now”, we downed the shots, thanked them politely for their hospitality and asked them to unlock the door and let us out. It was a very bizarre moment and one that completely took us by surprise.

We tried other bars on the way up to the hill, finding a Croatian pub open to provide us with one final beer and a nightcap. Budapest we love you.

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Our second day started with the most incredible breakfast we’ve had on our travels, service with a smile and a meal that was worth hotel fee on its own. Follow the link to Bi&Bi Panzio here, it’s worth every single forint.

The Sunday was spent in typical Klobasa style, taking in the sights of one of the most beautiful cities in the world, while finding watering holes to quench our thirst.  In our opinion there’s nothing better than seeing the sights of such a spectacular city, while tasting the local beverages and cuisine.

As we were on the Buda side, we made the short walk up to the castle, past the Matthias church, where like every other tourist in Budapest we stopped for photos – before slowly walking down the hill to the Chain Bridge, to the cities second most popular place for selfies. One too many selfie stick for us and we headed straight to our first beer stop. The rest of the day was pretty much the same, sightseeing and Soproni drinking.

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Around 3.00pm we found ourselves, quite by chance, just outside Keleti Train Station and with two hours to kill and feeling a tad peckish, we found another great Hungarian restaurant, Huszár étterem, on one of the side streets.

“Welcome, Welcome to Budapest”

And I suppose , even though we on our way out of Budapest, the people, the food, the palinka, the beer had made it such a great trip that we knew we’d be back for more.

As Craggy so often says when he likes a place…

“I could live here”

Viva Budapest. Viva Soproni. Viva Palinki.

Craggy: and what about the setlist for the musical, I can hear you asking? Well, this is the rather inexplicable, and somewhat embarrassing setlist that we sang all weekend:

Driftwood by Travis (You’re driftwood floating down the Danube. Can also be artistically applied to suit the names of Blansko players flying down the left wing)

Summer Son by Texas (Really painful one, this one)

Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds (sounds even better after about 15 beers)

I Think We’re Alone Now by Tiffany (don’t ask…)

Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash

Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode

Don’t You Want Me by The Human League (Sang by the guy in the bar offering himself to Craggy)

Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi (Which Craggy was doing)

Freelove on the Freelove Freeway by Ricky Gervais

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Ralph and his favourite river

Thoughts from the Klobása – an insightful review

The Blansko klobása

The Blansko klobása

With the new season approaching (Napajedla away tomorrow), we asked some of the Blansko Klobasa their thoughts on the season just gone and their hopes for the team for 2014/15. The idea was to do it in a pub, but unable to organise it – we sent them a load of questions via the internet, but if you prefer you can pretend it is in the FK Blansko clubhouse.

What did you think of the season?
R :I thought that it was an excellent season back in Divize considering we didn’t make to many changes in the squad. It was good to see the club strengthen after the winter break and the signings of both Coupek and
Goldelka were inspired.
C: Highly entertaining and pretty successful considering it was the first season back in Divize. And it took me all over Moravia!
W: Really enjoyed it – cemented my affection for FKB as one of my teams. It’s nice to feel part of it all

Which stadiums have you been to in Moravia?
C Well, I guess a few. Polna, Uhersky Brod, Rosice, Vyskov, Velké Meziříčí, Bystrice nad Penstejnem, Bohunice, Bystric and a few more I can’t remember… and The Udolni or course!

What was your favorite game of the season?
R: Bystrica nad Penstejnem away. Not just for the castle, but the 5-1 win away was a superb performance. And Also it was the first time that you could see the people connected with the club accepted our support. 
C: Velké Meziříčí at home. The away fans Were the best of the season and the last-minute equalizer Blansko made ​​it feel like we’d just won a cup final.
W: Two or three candidates for this. Enjoyed all the away games, but must say in particular VelMez, Bohunice and Rosice. Very pleased that the Fun Club appreciate our support and realise that it is genuine. But I will stick with the late fight-back at home to VelMez as my favourite. Felt a real pride in them.

FC Velmez

How many away fans did Velke Mezirici bring?
C: Well, not a lot to be honest – I counted 5? But they had a drum and made one hell of a noise. Although they could probably do with some drum lessons – no rhythm.

What was the score?
C: 2 -2

What about player of the season?
R: I have to give it to Honza Trtilek. Spent the entire first half of the season on his own in attack and the second half scoring and setting up goals for Goldelka. The boy is Blansko through and through. Also special mention to David Juran, he’s a friend on Facebook , whose fine performances in goal got him a trial at FK Znojmo and of course
Goldelka who wouldn’t look out of place in the Synot Liga.
C: I’d also have to say Honza Trtilek, purely for his work rate and goals. He carried the fronline on his own for most of the season.
W: Agreed, for the season got to be Honza T. Best player on the books IMHO. Although Goaldelka is a hell of a goalscorer.

Do you think most fans would agree?
C: I think they’d have to. The table wouldn’t have looked so good without him.

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Best trip of season.
R: Polna – An adventure which took us all around Vysocina, met some interesting characters and ended up in a local pub that wouldn’t look out of place in a Stanley Kubrick film.
C: Bystrice nad Penstejnem because I fell in love with the area of Vysočina.
W: VelMez. Nice town. Nice ground. Nice weather. Nice beer. Say no more

What do you like about Vysocina?
C: It’s just got some beautiful landscape, and the castle of course. Many of the towns are nice and it’s pretty calm.

Pernštejn Castle

Pernštejn Castle

Lowlight of the season.
R: Getting drunk on Slivovice in the home dressing room – we won’t be going there again.
W: The slivovice incident. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
C: Losing the abandoned Skoda from the Udolni

Skoda? Where was it parked?
C: Next to a goal just behind the pitch. It was a good mascot for the club – it just needed a lick of paint. The kids liked to bounce balls off of it. It was a sad day when they took it away.

Gone!!!

Gone!!!

What are your hopes for next season?
R: Some great away trips – plans have been made to travel to one of the games on the Bata canal. A great cup run with a game against tip top opposition and another good season in the league.
W: A decent season with a decent cup run. Keep Honza’s T and K. More fun visits to away grounds. To take out the message of The Klobasa to the world!!
C: Travelling Moravia and hopefully seeing an even greater improvement on a great last season.

How do you think Blansko will do?
C: I’m hoping for a top 5 finish, but we’ve got some new players this year so let’s wait and see how they do.

Best team seen?
W: Rosice. Much better than champions Vyskov IMO.
R: I agree, I think Rosice were definitely the best team I saw, full of ex pros and just took us apart away from home.

Best Goal?
W: Goaldelka’s curling free-kick at home to (?). Bohunice’s free-kick to equalise against us.
R:  Coupek´s against Polna away. From the halfway line (wind assisted)

The ‘We wuz robbed’ award
W: The inexplicable capitulation second half at Vyskov
R: Have to agree with Wingy. I am still unsure how we threw it away at Vyskov…Should have been 4-0 up at half-time.
C: The dodgy refereeing at Bohunice costing us a result.

Good luck to the boys in Blue for the coming season and hopefully there will be more tales of beer, sausage , horseradish and football coming to you from a town in Moravia soon.

TBK

The Klobasa

The Klobasa