Uhersky Brod – CLOSED

Uhersky Brod

Uhersky Brod

When you wake up at 6.00 am with “Dancing Queen” stuck in your head and a vague memory of the turning down a final shot of Vodka at 3,00am , you know, just know that today might not be your day.

To those of you who read this ( thank you so much) we probably sound like a group of raging alcoholics. We’re not, honestly …..but getting up at the crack of dawn for 4th Division Czech game, I suppose we have to just a tiny bit off our heads and yes of course, we do like beer.

The meeting point was the same as always, the main hall at Brno Main Train Station, just left of the coffee stand. This is just in case we were in need of an espresso hit. On this occasion both of us passed (believe me it wouldn’t have helped) and headed to platform 2 for the train to Stare Mesto Uherske Hradiste. Not before we’d met one of our fellow teachers, who was far too happy for 9,30 on a Saturday morning.

Pivo at the brewery

Pivo at the brewery

We found our way onto the train and even managed to get a compartment to ourselves before a couple of fellow travellers decided to join us with a bottle of Bozkov rum to keep them company on the journey ahead. Not long after we departed, Craggy fell asleep leaving me to my newly purchased Gruff Rhys novel (buy it) and before you could say “Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch” we were on our  connecting train to Uhersky Brod. Things seemed to be going far too well for a Blansko away trip and it wasn’t long before our luck changed and the conductor was threatening to throw us off the train for…laughing….yep you read that correctly for having a chuckle. Okay, I admit that I was laughing at her a pure lack of customer service…but still.. I absolutely love living in the Czech Republic, but sometimes you do feel a tad angry when you don’t get a service with a smile.

Uhersky Brod is a town between Brno and Trencin. We had chosen to go there, not just because Blansko were on an unbeaten run of 6 matches or even the fact that it was the home to a fairly popular brewery, but because it was the birthplace of Jan Amos Komensky, the founder of the universal education and apparently he liked a pint (I made the last bit up). We were told that both his museum and the Zbrojovka gun factory were a must if we were in town.

And with the idea of being tourists appealing to both of us, we bypassed the Banik Ostrava hooligans at the train station and headed up the steps to the centre of the town….

I would love to tell you how fascinating the both museums were, but the truth is that Uhersky Brod was closed for the day, museums closed, cafes closed, hotels empty, not a local to be seen to ask them to recommend somewhere. Having lived here in the Czech Republic for a while, I have grasped the concept that Czechs love to head off to their country cottages, but this was the first time in my 15 years that an entire town had departed for the weekend.



So, not too disappointed we headed off to the brewery and yes, I am sure you have guessed… it was closed too. This might have been down to the fact the pub was offering beer for a bargain 9.90kc and they had run out or….that they had also buggered off. What a welcome.

Eventually, after finding a pub open (the non smoking section  was the table closest to the door) we sipped our glasses of the local brew and  made our way to the ground to see if Blansko could continue their winning ways.

No smoking

No smoking

The Uhersky Brod ground is quite possibly the least atmospheric ground in the league, one small modern stand and the pitch is surrounded by one metal railing – the worst we have been to . But, like every ground it has a bar (or window) and this is where we found the rest of the Blansko support.  When I say support, we discovered that 8 of the Blansko regulars (all over 60) were not fans of the team, but saw it as an opportunity to get out of town for the day… Free travel to Uhersky Brod, I probably would have stayed at home, if I were you, gents.



So, after  a couple more beers and hearing some extremely interesting stories about the club (I had to swear I wouldn’t publish them on here), we took our seats in the stand and joined in the first chant of the day. Again, I don’t want to bore you with details of the game, but I will tell you that our star striker has a new pair of gold boots and yes they do look awful. (Honza, if you are reading this, don’t ever wear them again :-)) . The game finished 1-0 and I am unsure if it was the hangover that made the game the least enjoyable of the campaign or whether the strikers had forgotten their boots (GOLD BOOTS!) or even that the Uhersky Brod team had parked a double decker bus in front of the goal…unbeaten run over.



Some highlights from Uhersky Brod:

– We swapped our half-time klobasa for pork steaks. Possibly the best snack of the season

– The brewery pub was offering beer for less than 10kc (get there before 12pm on a Saturday)

-The pub nearest the brewery has a non smoking section which is basically the nearest table to the door and yes it was smokey.

– Some of the friendliest waitresses we have encountered this season.

– We have heard that both museums are worth a visit, just not on a Saturday.






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